My Day...

... In conversations with Charlie.

Charlie: "Mom, if you need me I'll be in the bathroom pooping."
Me: "Okay... Don't forget to wipe your bottom, flush the toilet and wash your hands."
Charlie: "Mom, I *know*- I was just talking to myself about doing those things!"

***
Me: "Charlie, why do you have holes in all your shirts?"
Charlie: "Because sometimes at school I take a scissor and cut holes in my shirts."
Me: "Why?"
Charlie: "Because sometimes I think it's fun, but sometimes I don't."

***

Charlie: "What planet do we live on?"
Me: "Earth."
Charlie: "What planet does Ben live on?"
Me: " Earth, we all live on planet Earth."
Charlie: "What about Chinese people? What planet do they live on?"

***

Charlie: "Can you move this box?"
Me: "Why do I need to move the box? It can stay where it is."
Charlie: "Move the box!!"
Me: "Why??"
Charlie: "Because I need to pretend to be a mushroom right there!!"

And my co-workers wonder why I come in and talk their ears off on Wednesdays after two days home with the kids...