Bikram Yoga

After four months of procrastinating I finally redeemed a Groupon for ten Bikram yoga classes at the studio that's around the corner from Amelia's dance & gymnastics classes. 

When I bought the groupon I had thought that I had already done Bikram yoga, because my friend Kate and I had taken a series of heated yoga classes about ten years ago. I was quickly informed, though, that heated yoga and Bikram yoga are not the same thing, with the former being a 60 minute class and usually involving a room heated to about 90 degrees and the latter involving a room heated to 110 degrees and being a 90 minute class. 

I got off on the wrong foot fairly immediately because I was running late to the class so I decided it would be a good idea to run all the way there. Lesson #1: Do not show up to a bikram yoga class already out of breath and sweaty, you are about to sweat more profusely than you ever have in your life, why get a jump start on it?

Lesson #2: Do not  show up late to a Bikram yoga class because all the spaces by the door will be taken and you will find yourself right in the front center of the room, exactly where you don't want to be in order to make a discreet exit halfway through. 

Lesson #3: If you insist on taking a Bikram yoga class, don't put your mat down next to your son's pre-school classmate's mother who competes in yoga competitions at a national level and who literally spent most of the class with her ankles behind her head. After class we may or may not have had the following conversation: 

Me: "How often do you do this??"

Her: "Every day, isn't it a great workout??"

Me: "You're a f*cking psychopath!!"

(If she un-friends me on Facebook I'll know why.)

I basically spent the entire class watching the sweat drip off various places on my body and land on various places on the floor. When I got tired of that I started to watch the sweat drip off other people's bodies. I literally kept choking on my own sweat -- like, it would run into my nose because my head was upside down half the time and then I would breathe in and I'd choke on it just like I was breathing in through my nose underwater. That's how sweaty it was. 

I can already tell I am going to ache from head to toe tomorrow from just *thinking* about putting my ankles behind my head...

Well at least I have a week to recover until next class...